Hello and welcome! Here is my story…

Hello and welcome to my blog!

This is my journey to losing weight and getting healthy!

I grew up in a household full of real, healthy, delicious food. My mom has degrees in health and nutrition and as such, she did not want to feed us junk food or processed foods full of preservatives. We got chips and pop at birthday parties only, baked goods were always homemade from scratch and trips to McDonald’s were a rarity. My mom made sure that we played outside every day and were involved in sports activities, like swimming lessons and soccer. She also limited the amount of time we spent watching television, preferring us to play and be kids. So, it seems, that I was set for life.

When I was 11, I began to get bullied by a group of kids in my school. They weren’t outright mean to me, like calling me names, but instead they would whisper about me behind my back and exclude me from everything. Nobody in my class talked to me and I began to get very, very lonely. It is horrible to be called names and publicly bullied in that way, but it is just as awful to purposely be excluded and to be told that you are not wanted.

Food became a comfort to me. My junior high school had a million vending machines (stuffed with pop, chips, candy and ice cream) as well as a canteen that sold candy and baked goods, among other things. I didn’t have a job at the time, but I got an allowance, and I found happiness in going to the canteen at lunchtime and eating a brownie by myself in the stairwell.

Soon, my bad habits moved outside the borders of school. I lived within walking distance of a grocery store, so much of my allowance money went there, towards bags of chips, candy, chocolate and packaged snack cakes. I stayed at a relatively steady weight in junior high, despite all the junk food, because I walked to and from school every day, which took about 30 minutes each way.

However, my high school was too far for me to walk and so I had to take a bus. I did not compensate for the missed activity and so I slowly began to put on weight in earnest (not helped by the fact that my allowance was supplemented by part-time job income and that my high school had a cafeteria that sold slurpees, cookies, french fries, chicken nuggets etc.). The more weight I put on, the more self-conscious and depressed I became. The outgoing, loud, bubbly little girl that I once had been became a shy, reserved teenager wracked with self-doubt and trying her hardest to be invisible.

I am now almost 25. I have, happily, shed my depression and shyness and become outgoing and confident once more, but I am still self-conscious about my weight. I have also grown concerned, lately, about the health issues I might be causing by being so heavy. My feet, knees and ankles often ache at night and I suspect that is because of the pressure being put on them by my excess weight. My fitness level is atrocious (practically non-existent) and I would like to get to a point where I can run without having to step every 5 seconds to catch my breath. I have always been strong, and some of my bulk is muscle, so lifting weights and the like is not a problem, but I am also looking to gain flexibility. I have a lot of issues with my shoulders and back, so I am hoping that losing weight, getting fit and becoming more flexible will improve my quality of life that much more.

I also need to address my eating habits. I am a food addict. I am an emotional eater. I have a hard time saying “no” to things that I like or simply sticking to proper portion sizes. It is a battle that I have been trying to win for many, many years but I haven’t conquered it yet. I believe, wholeheartedly, that food addiction is just as serious as an addiction to nicotine or alcohol or narcotics. (There are studies to back this up, if you don’t believe me.) But here’s the problem: you can’t escape food. If you are an alcoholic or a smoker or a substance abuser, once you quit/become sober, you never EVER have to have that thing again. But you have to have food. An alcoholic can avoid alcohol by not setting foot into a liquor store. A food addict cannot never set foot in a grocery store again. It is a problem that I am working hard to overcome, but I know (I KNOW) that I can do it.

If you want to lose weight, conquer your eating habits or simply get fit, I hope you will read this blog and make up your mind to join me. If you don’t want to do any of those things, I hope that you can read this blog and find inspiration from it that you can apply to other parts of your life.

Either way, whatever you take from it, I hope you see something you like and I hope you’ll stay.

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