Progress Update – as of August 9, 2014

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 291.9 lbs
Loss: 0.3 lbs
Current BMI: 45.7
Loss: 0.1

It’s not a lot, but HEY, a loss is a loss! After slowly going up over the last couple of weeks, I am happy to see it going down. Anyway, onto a more serious topic…

I am sure that all of you know, by now, that the brilliant and devastatingly funny Robin Williams sadly left this world on Monday. To be honest, I am heartbroken. He was one of my favourite actors, a staple of my childhood, and the thought that such a brilliant man suffered so much pain just breaks my heart into a million pieces. 

As a result of this tragedy, over the last few days I have been poring over articles talking about all facets of mental health: depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bi-polar disorder and addiction, to name a few. And I realized, with absolute certainty, that I too, am an addict. Except that my vice isn’t cocaine or heroin or a bottle of scotch. It’s food. 

I obsess about food and I crave it all the time, everything. Sometimes, all it takes is another person mentioning food or reading about a character eating or watching a television show with a decadent meal to make me crave that food. And I don’t just crave it, I obsess. I have come to realize that what I thought were just normal cravings are, in actuality, unhealthy obsessions, symptoms of a greater addiction. Food addiction seems tame compared to an addiction to alcohol or gambling or cocaine, but in truth, it can destroy just as many lives, albeit usually at a lot slower pace. I have suspected for some time that I have this addiction, but now I have gotten to a point where enough’s enough. I am going to see a therapist. 

What I Did Well This Week:
1) Well, I exercised as much as I could. 
2) I tried to eat well. The key word in that sentence is tried. 

What I Can Improve On:
1) Making exercise even more of a priority. I have been slacking a bit in that department, probably because I am so tired all the time. 
2) Making better choices with my eating and seeking help and therapy to break my addiction to food and stop obsessing. 
3) Getting more sleep. I didn’t do so well with that goal last week. 

How I Feel:
Optimistic and hopeful and encouraged by my weight loss.

But also very, very sad. I know I didn’t know Robin Williams and it seems silly to mourn someone you never knew, but he’s one of those actors whose face was a constant throughout my childhood (and into adolescence and adulthood) and he seemed so warm and genuine that I felt like he was a friend. 

So all I have to say is this: if you are hurting, please seek help. Please talk to a trusted friend or a teacher or a family member or a licensed mental health professional. If you are in dire need and you feel that you have no one to turn to, please call one of the following numbers:

13 11 14 – Australia

1-800-273-TALK (8255) – Canada and the United States
09 522 999 – New Zealand (within Auckland)
0800 543 354 – New Zealand (outside of Auckland)
08457 90 90 90 – United Kingdom

And remember, “All my love to you, poppet. You’re going to be alright.” 

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