Progress Update – as of June 4, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 309.4 lbs
Loss: 7.3 lbs
Current BMI: 48.5
Loss: 1.1

Bust: 52 inches
Waist: 57 inches
Loss: 1 inch
Hips: 55 inches
Loss: 1 inch

Wahoo! That is what I’m talking about. We are TEN POUNDS AWAY from the 200s people! TEN POUNDS! I don’t really look any different (yet) but who cares? That’s an accomplishment!

So, I did something the other day that I’ve been meaning to do for a long time: I renewed my gym membership! The “gym” that I’m referring to is a little different because it’s not actually a gym, it’s a recreation centre in my hometown. There are weight machines, treadmills, rowing machines, bikes, free weights, a track, a swimming pool, a skating rink, ellipticals and stair steppers, plus other equipment like resistance bands, foam rollers etc. What’s also nice about it is that this rec centre has an agreement with the other ones in the area, meaning that I can go hiking, cross-country skiing, swimming (at a different pool), ice skating or that I can utilize other gyms in the area, should I choose.

I don’t really know what I’m doing on the weight machines and I am intimidated by the other people there. However, I got one of the personal trainers who works/supervises there to give me a little tutorial of the gym and what the machines do, so I feel more comfortable. I am intimidated because everybody who was there when I was there was SO FIT. Huge muscles, people who obviously work out all the time. I just feel like a big fat slob next to those people. I know I shouldn’t, I know that I should be proud of myself for trying to better my life and that, truthfully, they’re likely not even paying attention to me at all, but I can’t help feel like they’re sitting there, laughing at that fat girl in the corner who doesn’t know what she’s doing.

But WHO CARES. I’m trying to think that way. I’m at the gym for me, to get healthy and change my life, so I really shouldn’t care.

Cheers, happy losing!

Advertisements

Progress Update – May 28, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 316.7 lbs
Gain: 4.2 lbs
Current BMI: 49.6
Gain: 0.7

I won’t lie, I’m extremely disappointed this week. More than I have been in a long time.

I really thought that I would lose weight in New York. We started our days at 9:00 am and didn’t get back to the hotel until 9:00 each night, sometimes later. We walked almost the entire time we were there, the only time we really sat down was to eat lunch or have coffee or for the occasional break when my feet just couldn’t take it anymore. So, needless to say, I’m surprised.

I really thought I tried to watch what I ate this week. For sure, I indulged in some things (NY cheesecake was a highlight!) and I didn’t eat as many vegetables or fruits as I normally would, but I don’t think that I went crazy, so I’m really confused. I thought I would at least maintain, if not lose, so I’m really quite baffled that I gained so much.

Maybe some of it’s muscle? Water retention? I don’t know. Bodies are sometimes weird. Anyway, I’ll try not to stress about it.

I think I mentioned awhile ago that I signed up for a weight-loss program that my doctor referred me to. I am supposed to start sessions with a personal trainer in a couple of weeks (1.5 hours a week for 12 weeks), so I’m looking forward to that! I would like to use the machines at the gym but I don’t know how any of them work and I’m afraid that I’ll look stupid. I know that’s dumb, but I find those athletic types very intimidating and I feel like they’re judging me for being there, like I don’t belong. I’m sure they’re not thinking anything of the sort and that they’re concentrating on their own workouts, but I can’t help but feel self-conscious.

Hopefully this week is better, onwards and upwards! Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of April 16, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Weight: 315.6 lbs
Gain: 2.3 lbs
BMI: 49.4
Gain: 0.3
Hips: 52 inches
Loss: 1 inch
Waist: 57 inches
Gain: 1 inch
Hips: 57 inches
Gain: 1 inch

Oops, I did it again! Missed a few weeks, I mean. It’s been kind of crazy around here, actually. Just a lot of things going on and I have caught the spring cleaning bug, so I’m crossing things off my To Do list like crazy. A great feeling!

I started my weight loss program and it makes me really excited. I’ve mentioned it before but, just to recap, the program is called Why Wait? and it’s designed for people who are trying to lose weight but can’t seem to do it alone. I was referred to it by my doctor, who was concerned. The program is six months long. You are assigned a coach – either a nurse or a dietitian – that you meet with initially, then for the next six months. You are required to take several classes on nutrition, emotional eating, exercise etc. and then you’re assigned a personal trainer who helps you to get an exercise routine and teaches you proper form with body-weight exercises and how to use the weight machines and all of that. The classes have been excellent so far, I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve also started wearing a pedometer. One of the things that stood out to me the most from my classes was that weight honestly does not matter. It doesn’t. It is more important to get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week and to limit the amount of time you spend sitting than to lose weight. This blew my mind. I want to lose weight for aesthetic purposes, but an obese or overweight person who gets 150 minutes of exercise a week is actually less likely to get cardiovascular disease than someone of normal weight who doesn’t exercise. Seriously. People always go on and on about “fat is bad” but really, inactivity is worse. So anyway, I’m wearing a pedometer now to track my steps. I’ve also started walking a lunch with a coworker, we usually walk about half an hour every day. It’s lovely to get out of the office because the weather here is beautiful now, plus it means that I get at least some activity in my day, regardless of how busy I am after work.

Lastly, I am back on Weight Watchers. They had a really good deal recently where you can save a bunch of money (more than $100) by signing up for six months in advance. I am not 100% on board with Weight Watchers BUT they have changed their program for 2016 and I think it’s more scientifically sound now, plus it’s still a good way for me to keep track of what I’m eating and be aware of what I’m putting in my body.

So, I’m feeling hopeful!

Cheers, happy losing!

 

 

Progress Update – as of March 19, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 313.8 lbs
Gain: 1.2 lbs
Current BMI: 49.1
Gain: 0.2

Up again! Goodness, I am on quite the roller coaster here. I’m not surprised though, this past week I was working on a theatre show that opened on Thursday, so I was at the theatre basically every single day for hours. I did try to plan my meals and to take snacks and such with me, but I was so tired every evening that this did not always happen.

I have also been sick for two weeks with a terrible chest cold. Because I have been busy I haven’t been getting adequate rest, which is likely why I’ve been unable to get rid of it. And I haven’t been exercising, mostly because of how busy and tired I have been, and because I’ve been coughing so much.

But I’m done! The show is done, months and months of prep and stress is over. Now, I want to focus on myself. On getting to a good place, physically and mentally, instead of worrying about everyone else all the time or expending my energy on other people.

Here’s to a good week! Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of March 12, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 312.1 lbs
Loss: 2.5 lbs
Current BMI: 48.9
Loss: 0.4

Yay, we’re down again! Truthfully, I think this is likely because I was sick and not through much effort on my part, but hey, it’s all good.

I have some VERY exciting news to share! I recently went for my annual physical (although it’s not quite annual since I haven’t had one since 2014) and my doctor expressed concern that my weight had gone up since she last saw me. Since I have a chronic disease called poly-cystic ovary syndrome (PCOS for short) and it can become worse with weight gain (as well as cause weight gain and make it difficult to lose weight, hurray!) she wanted to address it.

She put me on a program through my healthcare system that pairs me up with a nurse who specializes in weight management. When I met with this nurse, Julie, the next week, she explained it to me. Basically, it’s a program that’s designed to be completed in six months. In those six months, I will attend sessions about things like emotional eating, nutrition, managing cravings, how to cut down on sugar etc. AND I will also be assigned a trainer who I will meet with once a week for 12 weeks to develop an exercise regimen. And, best of all, it’s FREE. (Thank you Canadian healthcare!)

I’m so excited. I had been toying with the idea of getting a trainer for a long time but I balked at the cost. I had no idea this program even existed, so the idea that I can get such incredible, professional support and help for free is just amazing to me.

I feel like I’ve fallen off track, spiritually. I was bogged down by anxiety and depression and I worried too much about what other people think about me, I invested so many time and energy into their emotions and feelings that I left nothing for myself, so I was unhappy and very drained. But I’ve decided, it’s time for ME. I’m young, I have no dependents, so now is the best time for me to reconnect with myself and focus on my own needs. I have enrolled in yoga, meditation and knitting classes, I’m planning a trip to Asia in May and now I’m starting this new weight loss program and I am unbelievably excited! 2016 is shaping up to be pretty wonderful!

Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of February 20 and 27, 2016

Height: 5’7″

February 20, 2016
Current Weight: 315.3 lbs
Gain: 2.3 lbs
Current BMI: 49.4
Gain: 0.4

February 27, 2016
Current Weight: 312.6 lbs
Loss: 2.7 lbs
Current BMI: 49.0
Loss: 0.4

Hurray, we’re down again! The past few weeks have been very difficult, emotionally, and the last thing that I’ve wanted to do is work out or eat healthy. I have tried very hard to make good choices as often as possible, but I find that cooking and preparing meals are the first things to go when I’m sad, so I’ve been eating out a lot lately, much more than I should.

One thing that has changed is exercise. I’m still not exercising as much as I probably should be, but I have been going for walks during my lunch hour at work (usually 30 minute walks), and I go down with my coworker every two hours to move her car, so we take the stairs on this little trips instead of the elevator. I’ve also started wearing a pedometer, which I think has made me aware of how little I move during an average day ad how much more I need to be active.

The weather is also helping, it’s been absolutely GORGEOUS where I live. Spring is coming and being outside in the fresh air for those little walks has really made me feel a lot happier. I think I’m going to try to walk outside as often as possible. I need to engage in more intense exercise than walking in order to see real weight loss, I know, but being outside in the fresh air and sunshine makes me feel great and, at the end of the day, going for a walk, even if it’s not intense, is still better than sitting in my office chair all day and on the couch all night.

Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of January 2, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 305.9
Loss: 3.0 lbs
Current BMI: 47.9
Loss: 0.5
Bust: 52 inches
Waist: 56 inches
Hips: 56 inches

Well, what a great start to the new year! To be honest, I am a bit surprised that I lost so much, I wasn’t that great about exercising or eating but HEY, I will take it!

I’ve been feeling pretty good these last few days. My mood has been all over the place for the last few months, but recently I’ve become interested in the Body Positive movement. If you haven’t ever heard of that, it’s basically the idea that you should love yourself, no matter what you look like or where you are in your journey, and that your weight shouldn’t control your life. Some people think that the movement “glorifies obesity”, but I don’t think so. It’s ridiculous to pretend that being overweight automatically makes someone incredibly unhealthy or means they can’t be fit, and overweight people should not be made to feel ashamed of themselves. I think that’s something that’s taken me a long time to realize, that just because I am overweight doesn’t mean that I have to hate myself or that I don’t deserve happiness or self-acceptance. 

It seems ridiculously simple, but it’s not. We are conditioned to believe that fat is bad and that being overweight somehow makes us bad people and that we should be ashamed of being fat. But I’m tired of being ashamed. Have I made some bad choices that have led me down that path? Of course. Is the lifestyle that I lead healthy? Not really, I don’t get enough exercise or sleep or eat enough good food. Do I want to lose weight? Yes. But why should I be made to feel that I don’t deserve to live a full and happy life because I don’t (currently) fit what society has deemed attractive? My health is my business and, aside from being physically unfit, I am in perfect health: my blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect, my eyesight is excellent, my bones are in good shape, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs etc. Not all skinny people can say that.

So, this year, I am trying to love myself. I used to have an “ideal” weight that I wanted to achieve, but now I don’t have a specific number in mind, I just want to feel good. The body positive movement shows beautiful and amazing people of all shapes and sizes and it made me realize that I do not have to match a number on the scale to feel good about myself. I do want to become fitter, which I know will result in weight loss, but I no longer feel that I need to be skinny or fit into a certain size dress to be beautiful and awesome and wonderful. There are so many incredibly stunning and amazingly talented people who are not super skinny and I am so happy to finally realize this. I have a personal instagram, but I’m also considering making a PrettyFatGirl instagram account where I can post photos of my progress as well as photos/quotes etc. that I find inspiring. Stay tuned!

Week 1 Goal: Get 150 minutes of exercise this week

Cheers, happy losing!