The time has come…

…the walrus said, to talk of many things.

Well. It’s been a long time. How long? A very long time.

Many months ago, I decided to end this blog. 2016 was, to be frank, the worst year of my life. Issues with work, with friends, a broken heart, family issues, my father’s health, my own health…it all just became too much.

But now I’m back, from outer space. I am on a new journey of weight loss. I no longer weigh myself, as I decided that the scale is not my friend and the number is not important. I no longer have a goal weight. Rather, I am going on how I feel. I have learned to love exercise and I am currently working on making it a habit, thanks to my gym buddy, my brother. I quit my job and went back to school, pursuing a career that I love. And I am much, much kinder to myself than I once was.

I picked, long ago, an arbitrary number that was “ideal” for me. This number was based partially on the outdated and inaccurate method of BMI. I no longer believe that my life should be ruled by a number. As long as I am healthy and fit and I feel good about myself, I no longer care what that number is and I refuse to let it dictate my happiness and my self-worth any longer. I will need to be weighed occasionally, like at the doctor or if I were to have surgery, but I do not want to know that number ever again.

I WILL be tracking my measurements, but mostly just for my own curiosity, to see my progress. I do not have any “goal” measurements, I just want to reduce my body fat percentage, increase my fitness and feel better, both physically and mentally.

Here we go friends…happy losing!

Progress Update – as of January 22, 2014

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 294.0 lbs
Loss:  1.4 lbs
Current BMI: 46.0
Loss: 0.3

So this week, I lost 1.4 lbs for a total loss so far of 7.8 lbs since January 1st. Although I am wishing that my last couple of weeks had yielded a bigger loss than just 1.5 lbs, I think that 7.8 lbs in 3 weeks is pretty good. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s an average of 2.6 lbs a week. In a year, that’s 135.2 lbs!

Normally, during the week, I exercise on my treadmill for 30 minutes every day. This past week, I tried to go for an hour. Man, I overestimated my fitness level! My 30 minute workout is getting easier, but an hour of fast walking (and some jogging) is just too much for me right now. I thought I was going to pass out near the end, and after I finished I needed to use my inhaler (I have asthma), something I haven’t done in months. So clearly, I pushed myself a little bit too hard. Baby steps!

Also, part of the hour treadmill program includes a little jogging, and I could feel my butt jiggle when I did it. It was simultaneously funny and horrifying.

What I Did Really Well This Week:

1) Once again, I exercised every day. I find myself almost addicted to exercise now. I don’t always love how I feel when I’m doing it (like when I’m cursing under my breath while doing planks) but I love how it makes me feel and when I’ve showered after a great workout and I’m climbing into bed (I usually work out at night) I just feel so fresh and clean and healthy. It’s a great feeling.

2) I’m still keeping really good track of my eating and exercising. That has been a struggle for me in the past, so I’m happy that I’ve been able to keep that up.

What I Can Improve On:

1) Eating better is something that I am constantly striving for. I didn’t do that well this past week with getting more fruit and veggies in, nor with eating breakfast, so that’s something. This week I am going to try the Simply Filling plan from Weight Watchers. There are foods that are considered “Power Foods” by Weight Watchers: low-fat dairy, fruits, vegetables, lean protein and certain carbs like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, quinoa etc. On the normal Points Plus plan, you are assigned a certain number of points based on your age, weight, height etc. Each food has a Points Plus value and portion size is very important in tracking, as the PP value depends on the serving size. The Simply Filling plan is different. It’s a plan where you don’t have to count points, so long as you only eat Power Foods. The idea is that you eat when you’re hungry, as much as you need to feel satisfied, as long as they’re good choices. On both plans, you also get 49 weekly points to use however you like and you earn points for exercise, which can be used towards food or not used at all.

Anyway, my goal is to be on the Simply Filling plan this week. Then I can make sure that I’m making healthy choices. I am staying within my points value every day, but I’m not always necessarily using my points on the best things. I mean, you can eat 1200 calories worth of jelly beans a day and lose weight because of the calorie deficit, but you’re not exactly going to be healthy.

2) I need to get more sleep. I did better last week than the week before, but there is still so much room for improvement.

How I Feel:

Proud and happy. I admit, when I weighed myself this morning I was frustrated at only a 1.4 lb loss. With how hard I’ve been working out, I figured the number ought to read more like a 14 lb loss. But, when I reflect, 7.8 lbs in 3 weeks is pretty darn good.

There is also a part of me that is really anxious to see a difference too. I know that I’m doing well, but I haven’t really been able to see a difference in my body yet, so I’m getting antsy! But I know it will come, in time. I just have to be patient. Unfortunately, patience has never been my strong suit. I guess that’s another thing I’ll learn on this journey!


How I Am Going to Lose Weight

There are many approaches and theories about how “best” to lose weight: fad diets, fasts, cleanses etc.

I am going to do it the good old-fashioned way, however, and simply eat right and exercise. Here is how I plan to proceed:

1) Weight Watchers: The thing that I love about Weight Watchers is that it does not say no to any one food. It is not saying that you may never eat potato chips or cookies or cake or ice cream again. It is simply saying that you must be accountable for what you eat, via a points system. Foods are assigned a points value based on the protein, fibre, fat and carbohydrates they contain. Foods that are high in fat and sugar (carbs) and low in protein and fibre – such as candy – are going to be given a high points value. Foods like brown rice, whole wheat pasta, vegetables, eggs, fruit, lean protein and low-fat dairy (which are all low in fat and carbs and high in fibre and protein) are given a lower points value because they will keep you full longer and they are better for you.

My main problem is not that I don’t eat enough healthy food. It’s that I eat too much of everything, period. Pasta is only good for you if you eat 1 cup at a time, not 5. Cookies have a low points value if you only have 2, not 12. So that is, and always has been, my problem: my portions of everything, healthy and non-healthy, are far too big.

Weight Watchers assigns points values based also on serving size. There is no eyeballing your portions, you must measure them out to get an accurate points rating. I don’t know that I will stick with Weight Watchers forever, but the idea of eating proper portions is something that will help me on my way to success.

2) Exercise: I happen to actually like exercise. Sometimes I curse it – like the plank – but I like how it makes me feel. My problem, though, is that I have too many excuses for not doing it and I get in my own way. I want to make exercise a priority in my life, to schedule workouts like doctor’s appointments. I wouldn’t skip going to the dentist or taking medication, so I shouldn’t skip exercise.

3) Eating Late at Night: I have a bad habit of eating really late at night. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with eating late at night. There is a myth that your metabolism slows down when you are sleeping, but that simply isn’t true. However, my problem is that I am not eating cottage cheese and carrots late at night; I am eating burgers, fries, frozen pizza, ice cream, etc. etc. All junk. I plan to solve this problem by going to bed earlier. Not only will it prevent me from 2 am binges, but I will also get more sleep. I have a bad habit of not getting enough sleep, so I am hoping that going to bed earlier will not only prevent my late-night binges but it will also help me to feel better and more refreshed for the day and to feel more energized for my workouts.

4) Fast food: This is one of my weak spots. I love fast food. I love eating out. When I get home from work and I am very hungry, I have often found myself pulling into a drive-thru because the thought of having to cook while I’m so hungry is unappealing. However, this leads to 2 things: overeating and overspending. Fast food is expensive, in the long run. A $10 meal bought 5 times a week is suddenly $200 a month, in addition to grocery expenses for lunch and breakfast and supper on the weekends. I can cook healthier, cheaper meals myself, meals that aren’t full of fat and sugar that will make me hungry again in 5 minutes. In order to avoid this, I am relying on two things: having healthy snacks at work so that I am not so hungry when I drive home and cooking easy, quick, delicious meals so that I am not too tired and hungry to cook for myself when I get home.

5) Inspiration: Maybe this is cheesy, but I made myself an inspiration poster, full of inspiring quotes and pictures of women who I think look gorgeous and healthy. When I am feeling down or discouraged, I want to be able to look at that poster and remember to stay on track.

I leave you with a quote that I love: “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.