Progress Update – as of August 16, 2014 and August 23, 2014

Height: 5’7″

August 16:
Current Weight: 297.2 lbs
Gain: 5.3 lbs
Current BMI: 46.5
Gain: 0.8

August 23:
Current Weight: 294.2 lbs
Loss: 3.0 lbs
Current BMI: 46.1
Loss: 0.4

So, an interesting couple of weeks. A big gain and a big (but smaller) loss. I should say that I don’t know why this happening, but I am sure I do. When I look back on my week, I remember making healthy choices and trying to exercise. However, I have not been tracking my food or exercise religiously like I used to and I think, like most people, when I’m not keeping track I vastly underestimate the amount of food that I’m eating and overestimate the amount of exercise, as well as my exertion level. Hence, the pounds sneak back on. 

What I Did Well This Week:
1) I thought I was making healthy choices. Maybe I wasn’t, but I’m trying, that’s the key. 

What I Can Improve On:
1) Same old, same old. Better eating, more sleep, more exercise. My main thing is sugar. I love sugar. (Who doesn’t?) I love to bake, it’s my Achilles’ heel. So, for the next week, I am trying to do NO sugar. It’s going to be hard. I don’t want to never have sugar ever again, but I really need to reduce my intake. So, let’s see, let’s see if I can do no sugar for awhile and then gradually put it back into my life. 

How I Feel:
More mad at myself than discouraged. I know what I need to do to lose weight, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to do so. I think the reason that I did so well when I was travelling was because a) I didn’t have a car, so I had to either walk or bus (which required planning) everywhere I went and b) I wasn’t working, I spent my days walking around tourist sites. I am finding it difficult to balance my work with my life responsibilities and trying to squeeze in exercise on top of that is proving to be even harder. Truthfully, I could make time for exercise, but I’m so exhausted when I get home from work that it’s extremely difficult to motivate myself to do anything besides just relaxing on the couch. The silver lining in this is that, even though I bus to work, I walk to and from the bus station almost every day, so I usually get at least a 20 minute walk in every day. Not much, but it’s something. 

Cheers, happy losing! 

Why I Want to Lose Weight

People have a million reasons to lose weight. They might be for health, they might be for confidence or happiness, they might be simply about appearance. Here are mine (I’m sure there are many more, but these are the ones that came into my head just at this moment):

1. To feel good about myself. I think that, in general, I am a pretty confident person. However, there is always a little part of me that holds back because I am afraid that people will judge me. Amongst my friends I am comfortable, but when meeting new people I can be really shy because I am scared that they’re thinking “Oh, look at that fat girl.” It would be nice to have that fear go away.

2. To become fit. I love sports. Always have. It bugs me that I cannot run and play like I used to because I simply do not have the fitness level anymore. I would love to be able to join a sports team without being worried that I will embarrass myself or let the team down because of my abysmal fitness level.

3. To make moving easier. I cannot move the way that I used to due to my extra weight. I mean, I can run and stuff, but I cannot jump very high anymore and it is very difficult for me to get up from sitting on the ground. Squatting and jumping put too much pressure on my knees. I also work in retail and my feet, ankles and calves kill me at the end of the day. I would love to be able to come home from work and not be in pain.

4. I am tired of being told “You have such a pretty face.” I know what that means. “You’re pretty…but you’re fat. What a shame.”

5. I want to be able to wear anything from any store, not just plus-size ones. It would be nice to be able to go to the mall with my friends and actually be able to fit into clothing in the nice stores, not just the ones for plus-sized women. I know they’re just clothes, but whenever I go shopping with my sister or my friends, who are all very slim, I get jealous that they can find their sizes in any store they go to. I want that.

6. I’d love to stop getting looks from clerks in those stores. It’s like they look at me and say “You don’t belong here. You’re fat.” Thanks. I know.

7. Swimming. I love swimming, but I’m embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit in public. Seeing as how I love to camp at lakes during the summer, this is a bit of a bummer.

8. Quality of life. I am healthy right now, but I am afraid that if I don’t do something about my health, I will be in for a world of joint replacements and heart surgery.

9. I want to feel sexy and beautiful. I think I have a pretty face, but I don’t feel good about my body. I think that heavy can absolutely be sexy and that many women (and men) are suited to carrying some extra weight and they look fabulous. For me, however, not so much. I do not think that my body frame looks good with excess pounds.

10. I deserve it. I deserve the life that I want, filled with love and laughter and happiness. I should not let my weight hold me back.