Staying Afloat

“What is depression like? It’s like drowning, except you can see everyone else around you breathing.” – Anonymous

Have any of you ever struggled with depression? Or feeling hopeless? I am really having a hard time right now.

I’m exhausted all the time, but I can’t sleep. I find it hard to fall asleep and I wake up in the middle of the night constantly and find it hard to get back to sleep. I want to exercise, but I can’t find the motivation. I used to enjoy my work, but now I find it hard to concentrate on my tasks and the days just drag. When I get home, all I want to do is go to bed. I’m not even living at my house right now. I’m having such terrible anxiety that I have been sleeping at my parents’ house, which gives me even more anxiety because it makes me feel like an idiot and the fact that I’m paying rent but I’m not living at my house stresses me out even more.

I am trying so hard to stay positive, but I’m feeling overwhelmed by life. It feels like I will be stuck being fat forever. I am trying not to think of this in pounds, but it’s hard to ignore the numbers on the scale or to not be overwhelmed by how far I have to go. I’m constantly on the verge of tears.

I have been taking medication for anxiety and depression but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping. I have an appointment with a counselor in two weeks, but I don’t know how I’m going to wait that long.

I just feel like I’m drowning and I’m barely keeping my head above water. I’m trying as hard as I can, but I admit that sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed at all.