Progress Update – as of June 4, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 309.4 lbs
Loss: 7.3 lbs
Current BMI: 48.5
Loss: 1.1

Bust: 52 inches
Waist: 57 inches
Loss: 1 inch
Hips: 55 inches
Loss: 1 inch

Wahoo! That is what I’m talking about. We are TEN POUNDS AWAY from the 200s people! TEN POUNDS! I don’t really look any different (yet) but who cares? That’s an accomplishment!

So, I did something the other day that I’ve been meaning to do for a long time: I renewed my gym membership! The “gym” that I’m referring to is a little different because it’s not actually a gym, it’s a recreation centre in my hometown. There are weight machines, treadmills, rowing machines, bikes, free weights, a track, a swimming pool, a skating rink, ellipticals and stair steppers, plus other equipment like resistance bands, foam rollers etc. What’s also nice about it is that this rec centre has an agreement with the other ones in the area, meaning that I can go hiking, cross-country skiing, swimming (at a different pool), ice skating or that I can utilize other gyms in the area, should I choose.

I don’t really know what I’m doing on the weight machines and I am intimidated by the other people there. However, I got one of the personal trainers who works/supervises there to give me a little tutorial of the gym and what the machines do, so I feel more comfortable. I am intimidated because everybody who was there when I was there was SO FIT. Huge muscles, people who obviously work out all the time. I just feel like a big fat slob next to those people. I know I shouldn’t, I know that I should be proud of myself for trying to better my life and that, truthfully, they’re likely not even paying attention to me at all, but I can’t help feel like they’re sitting there, laughing at that fat girl in the corner who doesn’t know what she’s doing.

But WHO CARES. I’m trying to think that way. I’m at the gym for me, to get healthy and change my life, so I really shouldn’t care.

Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – May 28, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 316.7 lbs
Gain: 4.2 lbs
Current BMI: 49.6
Gain: 0.7

I won’t lie, I’m extremely disappointed this week. More than I have been in a long time.

I really thought that I would lose weight in New York. We started our days at 9:00 am and didn’t get back to the hotel until 9:00 each night, sometimes later. We walked almost the entire time we were there, the only time we really sat down was to eat lunch or have coffee or for the occasional break when my feet just couldn’t take it anymore. So, needless to say, I’m surprised.

I really thought I tried to watch what I ate this week. For sure, I indulged in some things (NY cheesecake was a highlight!) and I didn’t eat as many vegetables or fruits as I normally would, but I don’t think that I went crazy, so I’m really confused. I thought I would at least maintain, if not lose, so I’m really quite baffled that I gained so much.

Maybe some of it’s muscle? Water retention? I don’t know. Bodies are sometimes weird. Anyway, I’ll try not to stress about it.

I think I mentioned awhile ago that I signed up for a weight-loss program that my doctor referred me to. I am supposed to start sessions with a personal trainer in a couple of weeks (1.5 hours a week for 12 weeks), so I’m looking forward to that! I would like to use the machines at the gym but I don’t know how any of them work and I’m afraid that I’ll look stupid. I know that’s dumb, but I find those athletic types very intimidating and I feel like they’re judging me for being there, like I don’t belong. I’m sure they’re not thinking anything of the sort and that they’re concentrating on their own workouts, but I can’t help but feel self-conscious.

Hopefully this week is better, onwards and upwards! Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of May 14, 2016

 

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 312.5 lbs
Loss: 1.0 lbs
Current BMI: 48.9
Loss: 0.2

Bust: 52 inches
Waist: 58 inches
Gain: 1 inch
Hips: 56 inches
Loss: 1 inch

So, not a lot of change, but down is better than up! Although I’m a little confused about how my waist can be bigger. Bloating, perhaps?

Anyway, the past couple of weeks have been somewhat of a whirlwind, to say the least, which is why I didn’t update.

Firstly, I somehow managed to pull a pelvic ligament. I have no idea how I did it. I went to the doctor because my lower right abdomen was hurting quite badly, so I thought “uh oh…appendicitis?” but, thankfully, it wasn’t that serious. Still, it was annoying!

Secondly, one of my childhood dogs died really suddenly, which was horrifically sad. I honestly have no idea what happened, she was healthy and acted like her normal self right up until she died. My dad found her lying on the ground, trying to get up, but she couldn’t and she passed away very quickly. I’m assuming that it was a heart attack or a stroke or something like that. She was a beautiful dog and I miss her very much, last week was a very sad one.

I won’t be doing an entry this weekend, because I won’t have access to a scale. Why, you ask? Because I’m going to NEW YORK CITY! I’ve never been, but I’m extremely excited! Frankly, life has been a little crazy lately, what with my dog’s death and some drama happening at work (oh, workplace drama!), so I am very happy to get away for a bit. Plus, I’m excited to go to a place where I will get in a lot of activity. The friend that I’m going with is a runner (that crazy woman!), so no doubt we will be hoofing it a lot of places, but that’s good. I’ve been wearing a pedometer pretty consistently for the last month or so, so I’m interested to see just how many steps I can rack up.

I’m also considering going to Philadelphia and/or Washington, D.C. for a day! There is so much history in the U.S., I’m really excited to see some places I’ve never been.

Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of April 30, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 313.5 lbs
Loss: 6.4 lbs
Current BMI: 49.1
Loss: 1.0

Now that’s what I’m talking about!

I actually think last week was a fluke. Normally, I weigh myself in my basement, on the cement floor, because that’s where my exercise equipment is. I recently moved my scale to my bathroom and, when I weighed myself this morning, it initially said 323.6 lbs, which meant another almost 4 lb gain.

I was baffled. I could not understand what was going on and why I was gaining weight like crazy, despite eating well and exercising. However, I noticed the teeniest little wobble on the scale. Following a hunch, I moved it to the kitchen and, lo and behold, the scale revealed 313.5 lbs when I weighed myself. I weighed myself four more times just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. So, I’m guessing that my bathroom floor is just the tiniest bit uneven. I can’t go back in time to weigh myself last week, but I’m assuming that the reported weight gain wasn’t accurate. However, no matter, it’s all fixed now!

I also made an amazing discovery this week. Last Saturday (April 23rd) I went axe throwing with some friends (which is awesome, by the way!) and afterwards, we went out to a restaurant called Boston Pizza to eat. Boston Pizza is a Canadian-only chain, I believe. Anyway, while I love BP’s (as it is affectionately called), there is not a lot on their menu that isn’t extremely high in calories and fat. At least that’s what I thought, until I checked out some of the foods on the Weight Watchers app. (FYI: I recently rejoined Weight Watchers. It’s not a perfect program, by any means, but they have changed it a lot in the past year and I think it’s the best it’s ever been, now it takes more information into account to really help WW members to make the healthiest choices, unlike on the last program, when a can of Coca-Cola and a cup of chocolate milk were the same points value.)

Anyway, there is a pizza from Boston Pizza that I absolutely love, called the Spicy Perogy pizza. It’s basically cheese, sour cream, bacon, green onions and spicy potatoes. I live in Alberta, which has a huge Ukrainian population, so I’ve grown up eating perogies and I’m obsessed. A normal individual-sized one of these pizzas would run you 26 points. To put that in context, I have 54 points per day. So, basically, half of my daily points on one little pizza. However, in the app, I learned that simply by making this pizza thin crust, it suddenly drops down to 15 points. It’s still a lot in the course of a day, sure, but it means that when I go out with my friends to BP’s, as happens often, I have a much healthier choice available to me than almost anything else on the menu, and I can enjoy one of my favourite foods without feeling guilty. That was an amazing feeling.

I’ve been walking a lot (30 minutes a day, 5 days a week usually), which feels great, I am really enjoying it. I’m hoping to start incorporating weights into my routine this week, then swimming, because I adore swimming. It’s been really gorgeous here, Alberta has had a very nice spring, so it’s nice to get outside. I’m feeling good.

Cheers, happy losing!

 

Progress Update – as of April 23, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 319.9 lbs
Gain: 4.3 lbs
Current BMI: 50.1
Gain: 0.7

Well.

I’m baffled, to say the least. I went for a 30 minute walk every single day this week. I wore a pedometer. I made really good food choices.

Could I have gained muscle? It’s possible, I know that’s one reason why someone’s weight can initially go up when they start working out, but it’s not possible to gain almost 5 lbs of muscle, in a week, just by walking. I can only assume that my body just went into shock, since I’ve been sedentary for so long, and tried to hold onto the fat or something like that. Same reason why people plateau.

Anyway, I don’t know, but I’m trying not to worry about it. I was active this week and that is the most important thing.Onwards and upwards.

Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of April 16, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Weight: 315.6 lbs
Gain: 2.3 lbs
BMI: 49.4
Gain: 0.3
Hips: 52 inches
Loss: 1 inch
Waist: 57 inches
Gain: 1 inch
Hips: 57 inches
Gain: 1 inch

Oops, I did it again! Missed a few weeks, I mean. It’s been kind of crazy around here, actually. Just a lot of things going on and I have caught the spring cleaning bug, so I’m crossing things off my To Do list like crazy. A great feeling!

I started my weight loss program and it makes me really excited. I’ve mentioned it before but, just to recap, the program is called Why Wait? and it’s designed for people who are trying to lose weight but can’t seem to do it alone. I was referred to it by my doctor, who was concerned. The program is six months long. You are assigned a coach – either a nurse or a dietitian – that you meet with initially, then for the next six months. You are required to take several classes on nutrition, emotional eating, exercise etc. and then you’re assigned a personal trainer who helps you to get an exercise routine and teaches you proper form with body-weight exercises and how to use the weight machines and all of that. The classes have been excellent so far, I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve also started wearing a pedometer. One of the things that stood out to me the most from my classes was that weight honestly does not matter. It doesn’t. It is more important to get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week and to limit the amount of time you spend sitting than to lose weight. This blew my mind. I want to lose weight for aesthetic purposes, but an obese or overweight person who gets 150 minutes of exercise a week is actually less likely to get cardiovascular disease than someone of normal weight who doesn’t exercise. Seriously. People always go on and on about “fat is bad” but really, inactivity is worse. So anyway, I’m wearing a pedometer now to track my steps. I’ve also started walking a lunch with a coworker, we usually walk about half an hour every day. It’s lovely to get out of the office because the weather here is beautiful now, plus it means that I get at least some activity in my day, regardless of how busy I am after work.

Lastly, I am back on Weight Watchers. They had a really good deal recently where you can save a bunch of money (more than $100) by signing up for six months in advance. I am not 100% on board with Weight Watchers BUT they have changed their program for 2016 and I think it’s more scientifically sound now, plus it’s still a good way for me to keep track of what I’m eating and be aware of what I’m putting in my body.

So, I’m feeling hopeful!

Cheers, happy losing!

 

 

Progress Update – as of March 19, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 313.8 lbs
Gain: 1.2 lbs
Current BMI: 49.1
Gain: 0.2

Up again! Goodness, I am on quite the roller coaster here. I’m not surprised though, this past week I was working on a theatre show that opened on Thursday, so I was at the theatre basically every single day for hours. I did try to plan my meals and to take snacks and such with me, but I was so tired every evening that this did not always happen.

I have also been sick for two weeks with a terrible chest cold. Because I have been busy I haven’t been getting adequate rest, which is likely why I’ve been unable to get rid of it. And I haven’t been exercising, mostly because of how busy and tired I have been, and because I’ve been coughing so much.

But I’m done! The show is done, months and months of prep and stress is over. Now, I want to focus on myself. On getting to a good place, physically and mentally, instead of worrying about everyone else all the time or expending my energy on other people.

Here’s to a good week! Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of March 12, 2016

Height: 5’7″
Current Weight: 312.1 lbs
Loss: 2.5 lbs
Current BMI: 48.9
Loss: 0.4

Yay, we’re down again! Truthfully, I think this is likely because I was sick and not through much effort on my part, but hey, it’s all good.

I have some VERY exciting news to share! I recently went for my annual physical (although it’s not quite annual since I haven’t had one since 2014) and my doctor expressed concern that my weight had gone up since she last saw me. Since I have a chronic disease called poly-cystic ovary syndrome (PCOS for short) and it can become worse with weight gain (as well as cause weight gain and make it difficult to lose weight, hurray!) she wanted to address it.

She put me on a program through my healthcare system that pairs me up with a nurse who specializes in weight management. When I met with this nurse, Julie, the next week, she explained it to me. Basically, it’s a program that’s designed to be completed in six months. In those six months, I will attend sessions about things like emotional eating, nutrition, managing cravings, how to cut down on sugar etc. AND I will also be assigned a trainer who I will meet with once a week for 12 weeks to develop an exercise regimen. And, best of all, it’s FREE. (Thank you Canadian healthcare!)

I’m so excited. I had been toying with the idea of getting a trainer for a long time but I balked at the cost. I had no idea this program even existed, so the idea that I can get such incredible, professional support and help for free is just amazing to me.

I feel like I’ve fallen off track, spiritually. I was bogged down by anxiety and depression and I worried too much about what other people think about me, I invested so many time and energy into their emotions and feelings that I left nothing for myself, so I was unhappy and very drained. But I’ve decided, it’s time for ME. I’m young, I have no dependents, so now is the best time for me to reconnect with myself and focus on my own needs. I have enrolled in yoga, meditation and knitting classes, I’m planning a trip to Asia in May and now I’m starting this new weight loss program and I am unbelievably excited! 2016 is shaping up to be pretty wonderful!

Cheers, happy losing!

Progress Update – as of February 20 and 27, 2016

Height: 5’7″

February 20, 2016
Current Weight: 315.3 lbs
Gain: 2.3 lbs
Current BMI: 49.4
Gain: 0.4

February 27, 2016
Current Weight: 312.6 lbs
Loss: 2.7 lbs
Current BMI: 49.0
Loss: 0.4

Hurray, we’re down again! The past few weeks have been very difficult, emotionally, and the last thing that I’ve wanted to do is work out or eat healthy. I have tried very hard to make good choices as often as possible, but I find that cooking and preparing meals are the first things to go when I’m sad, so I’ve been eating out a lot lately, much more than I should.

One thing that has changed is exercise. I’m still not exercising as much as I probably should be, but I have been going for walks during my lunch hour at work (usually 30 minute walks), and I go down with my coworker every two hours to move her car, so we take the stairs on this little trips instead of the elevator. I’ve also started wearing a pedometer, which I think has made me aware of how little I move during an average day ad how much more I need to be active.

The weather is also helping, it’s been absolutely GORGEOUS where I live. Spring is coming and being outside in the fresh air for those little walks has really made me feel a lot happier. I think I’m going to try to walk outside as often as possible. I need to engage in more intense exercise than walking in order to see real weight loss, I know, but being outside in the fresh air and sunshine makes me feel great and, at the end of the day, going for a walk, even if it’s not intense, is still better than sitting in my office chair all day and on the couch all night.

Cheers, happy losing!

Goal Setting – or – How to Fail at It

So. As you may have noticed, I have not yet updated my progress for this week. Partly because this week seems to be crazy with work and my real life, so I feel like I haven’t had a second to do so. But I wanted to reflect.

I am a planner. I am one of those people who just LOVES to plan. I love lists, I love getting organized. But when it comes to exercise and getting fit, I have never been able to be a doer. I don’t consider myself a lazy person by any means, but for some reason, eating right and getting exercise is the one area of my life where I can’t seem to light a fire under my butt.

I have been pondering, lately, why that is. Since I’ve had such an emotional last few months, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection, trying to figure out who I am and what I want and where I should go from here. I realized, upon reflection, how utterly terrified I am.

Most people who know me would consider me to be outgoing, loud and spontaneous. That, however, is only because they know me well, so I allow myself to be my true self around them. People who went to school with me would describe me as shy, reserved and quiet, adjectives which I don’t think describe me at all. But they do. Because I am afraid. I am afraid of being wrong. I am afraid of being judged. I am afraid of being thought of as stupid or ignorant or unlikable, so I keep my mouth shut and I don’t take risks.

I can’t pinpoint exactly why I’m afraid to lose weight. I really DO want to, but something has held me back in a way that it hasn’t in other areas of my life. Maybe I’m afraid I’ll fail? Maybe it’s easier to just give up? I’m not sure yet. I’m investigating, I’ve been doing a lot of journaling lately.

I think a lot of it is that I am feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with life and the demands of the people around me. Overwhelmed at my job. Overwhelmed with the prospect of going back to school and the financial burden I am taking on because of that. Overwhelmed with the amount of information constantly being thrown my way regarding weight loss and health: “Eat this! It’s the best thing ever!” “Just kidding, it’s the worst! Eat this instead!”

I have been looking up a lot of workouts and trying to figure out which ones I want to do, but I haven’t done ANY of them because I honestly don’t know where to start. Everybody thinks that their workout is “the best” and trying to incorporate ALL of them into my life has just stressed me out. So I think I’m going back to basics: basic weights, basic cardio. There are so many incredible workouts that I’d like to try, but for now, I’ll just start at the bottom and work my way up.

I’m also going to cut back on my goal-setting. I thought that one new goal a week wouldn’t overwhelm me, but it has, and I’ve fallen way behind. One step at a time.

Just keep swimming.